[edited]
My apologies, I just remembered..
sorry if I mentioned anyone's name here :S
I forgot! I took it away already...
[/edited]
-comment disabled-I'll come back when the tears stop rolling down my cheeks!
Its 9:39p.m! Believe it or not, I'm back from Yeemon's party which started at 8p.m. Why? Well, I
WOULD have stayed longer if I actually had someone else to hang out with since Vanessa was leaving. But, I didn't. I mean, there was no surprises. I expected to just have Vanessa accompany me even though I knew basically 90% of the familiar faces. And, believe it or not. I DID try to chat with A FEW people I knew which let's just say, fucking made it even more awkward. Super pissed! Its like he pretended not to know me and just noded like I just started a conversation with someone I didn't know. Gee whiz! So much for being friends. No wonder after that awkward phase, I didn't even bother to talk to someone else. Hated that feeling!
Anyways, I felt bad. Stayed for about 1 and a half hour then buh-bye! But, I hate loneliness. I really do! I knew that if I stayed longer, I would just be sitting by myself staring at people dancing and chatting. But, there were some people that started a short conversation with us which was nice like Zac and Matt & this asian dude.
(asian dude can socialize pretty freaking well I tell you! - just by observing)&& the only conversation that I started that went well was with Jeremy. After that, the 2nd one was super AWKWARD which just killed my self-esteem!
Anyways, yeah. I suck! I cant dance, so I just watched people dance. Mind you, at the ball..I wasn't going to dance either cause I CANT dance but caroline insisted that I can so she dragged me to the dance floor. HAHA! Unfortunately, without being dragged up there, I wouldn't set foot on the dance floor. BAH! I actually should learn to be more like Caroline, she told me she use to be VERY shy. That's like me! ^___^
So anyways, when Vanessa's mum came to talk for a little with Yeemon's mum and I learnt that she was leaving soon, I called my dad. So yeah! I believe that I went there for 1 and a half hour for Yeemon, just to celebrate her birthday, specially for her! At least its better than NOT going, right? right.
Pfft, also learnt today that I'm a loner at times ;____;
im the kind of girl who name gets chosen LAST in sports when picking team...
that is how unpopular I am in CVC!im the kind of girl who smiles only if someone smiles at her..
because she's scared that she'll get rejection (no smiles back)
im the kind of girl who wants to make friends with classmates in maths, science, art..
but she knows deep down, she wouldn't dare even try...So, she just goes into her shell & watch others have fun!
='(
Thanks alot for letting me see the real YOU
maybe you feel disgraceful talking to me cause I'm just an ugly asian...
well guess what, now I feel disgraceful that I tried to TALK to you!No wonder after that, I didn't even bother TRYING to start a conversation with classmates
cause you killed my confidence just when I thought I could boost it.
Ouch! :(
Started on August 1st '09!